The Last Colour… The Woman is the Trigger

There have been many movies that are made about a widow’s life in society and her existence.

The woman’s existence is deeply rooted in tradition and rituals. There is social pressure and it impacts her life. As I was watching the movie the most glaring truth was that of the involvement of women in encouraging and participating in crimes against women. The same gender is carrying the atrocities towards another woman is shown, it was there and is still there in different forms. There are triggers in this movie are from women. Those who are suffering without realizing that their value is nothing. It’s less of a Man’s world. This is always loudly spoken on many platforms but there are women sitting behind the doors, tables, in social drama who are still maintaining the divide and culture of repression against women.
As recently as a year back someone asked me if it is ok if I come for the Navaratri Pooja at your place since I am a widow and many families don’t allow widows. Why do we forget that she is a woman first, nothing changes her existence, identity, or respect. Further, I personally have experienced humiliating treatment from a community in which I got married from a group of women saying since you are not born in the same community you can not participate in the XYZ ritual. I walked out of a function feeling pity for their constraints in life to rise above the traditional drama and sad for those children raised by them, who will be only educated bodies without a soul inside. May follow the same in future. These were around 35 educated women clad in the most expensive kanjivaram, jewelry, and kids studying in the best of colleges. The first experience I had in 1995, the second experience I had in 2017. We think and are under the illusion of the ritualistic influence that has gone. Who is empowering is a big question today? Corporates are empowering to give status in offices and productivity, platforms for employability but every house has to change. This repression is still there in the houses, in many traditional norms and communities. We have become educated externally, Beti Padhao is happening but out of 69% only 23% of women are working, the number of women working is reducing not increasing. This is because society is still the same inside. The exterior is beautified. The educated woman is respected for her ability to rise and shine. However, when it comes to the brass tacks social status with traditions there is a different treatment and conditioning.
The impact of a woman harassing a woman has deeply rooted in the power woman carries in society. Whichever way the society moves the power takes its shape and way to finds its way. Irrespective of Gender, to align themselves with society women continue the journey of rituals. Men have responsibilities but women who are driving the houses, families. raising children have more stake in it than men. If all women of all generations start supporting other women the patriarchal effect will minimize.
There is still a dependency factor integrated into the living of a woman. The independence of mind and balancing the polarity are needed the most. We have a distorted polarity with dependent lives. When the polarity will be balanced the pull and push factor will reduce by bringing in a new dimension of existence. The woman-to-woman trouble is influenced because of the focus on a woman loving another woman is missing. Aligning positively with another woman, Sakhi concept, for that matter the conjugal relationship between same-gender too as per Indian ancient scriptures was accepted practice later in colonial-era disappeared. Women are conditioned to look at a man as a savior, provider, protector of the social status, reason of existence in the society, community, auspiciousness, approval, self-acceptance, beautifying, and prosperity. Dependency like this has paralyzed women for many generations. Some have found power in it by following the conditioning and forcing others to follow so there is acceptance. Casteism has not gone fully. Today also many educated individuals proudly first express their cast, followed by education, designation, and then name. Hope someday we just know each other as who we are instead of what we are in society. This needs a lot of reflection on knowing self.

Author

Rajashri Rajashekhar – Founder Poornam Foundation

Researcher Gender Neutrality & Trainer